New Service: Air BnB coaster!

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So it appears that people who rent out their properties on Air BnB can now be held legally and financially accountable for the behaviour of the guests of their micro-tenants. That’s going to send shockwaves into the entire business model.

Before, all you had to worry about was coming home to a bunch of angry neighbors and several thousand dollars’ worth of damages, which may or may not be a nightmare to collect from Air BnB’s famous insurance policy.

Oh, and maybe getting punched.

Now, a UK court has ruled that your disgruntled, inconvenienced, and likely sleep-deprived neighbors can sue you if an Air BnB gathering gets out of hand. Since the Air BnB coverage does not cover that, you’re all on your own.

OR WOULD BE!!! if not for moi and this latest addition to my services. I hereby offer to occupy one room in your home and handle shit. I will calm down the aggros, soothe the emos, and generally make sure your house doesn’t turn into a scene from Porky’s.

If things get out of control, I will call the cops. I will go around at one in the morning calming your angry neighbors (after I’ve tossed out the offending yobbos). I will give statements to the media about how victimized you are, or duck the media, your choice.

I will break up cocaine-fueled orgies in your living room, unless cocaine-fueled orgies in your living room are part of your Air BnB contract.

All I ask is $100 a night and that you not take out a life insurance policy in my name.

(for non-party-insanity-related services, check the Services page)

If you’re looking for a pet-sitter, house-sitter, farm-sitter, check out our Services page and use the contact form there to get in touch. If you’d like to be a real pal, download and print our Flyer and put it up at your local vet, groomer, or pet food store.


One Comment Add yours

  1. raincoaster says:

    People: I AM NOT KIDDING HERE!!!

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